Saturday, February 26, 2011

Back to reality

I've been back from Chicago for 5 days now, but I still haven't been able to get out of my "vacation" mindset, especially with eating.  Although I didn't stuff myself silly last weekend, I did allow myself to eat what I wanted, including deep dish pizza, Garrett's popcorn, and a fair share of alcohol.  Which, despite the 3 pound gain it yielded on the scale this past Tuesday, was OK with me- it was a wedding, a long weekend trip, a reunion with friends I hadn't seen in awhile, and I wanted to indulge.  Now why can't I tell my brain (and my mouth) that I'm back in New Jersey and I can't keep eating like I'm still on vacation?

after a tasty pizza dinner at Giordano's in Chicago

I've tracked everything since Tuesday morning and I still have a few weeklies left, so it's not THAT bad.  But my WLJ seems to live and die with my momentum, good and bad.  When I start eating crap, I want to keep eating crap, and I start to lose focus on my goals.  I'm happy with how far I've come, but I need to keep reminding myself of where I ultimately want to be- closer to the Giselle end of the body spectrum.

On the positive side, it was really nice to see everyone this past weekend and my inner attention-whore enjoyed getting compliments on my weight loss from people I hadn't seen in awhile.  I've mentioned before that I haven't been at my current weight since junior year of college; it's weird to think that my friends from law school had never seen me even within 30 pounds of this weight.  There's always a part of me that tries to rationalize that I wasn't THAT heavy for THAT long, but in reality it took me 7 years of gaining and yo-yo-ing to get my shit in gear.  Better late than never?

I'm pledging to have a solid, OP weekend.  Yesterday was of questionable quality- I had to go to court in PA and, as is too often the case when I'm cranky about waking up early to drive, I allowed myself McDonalds breakfast.  Which wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't follow that with a french vanilla cappuccino on the drive back, a lunch of soft pretzels and a giant cupcake, and a bunch of randomass candy sprinkled throughout the day.  My GHGs were mostly a failure and my stomach was telling me to go eff myself by the end of the day.  BUT.. I went to the gym this morning for Body Sculpt and Zumba and have some healthy meals planned for today and tomorrow.  Hopefully I can finally tell myself that I'm not on vacation anymore and that my thighs would appreciate it if I stopped eating like I am.

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