Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Peeps season, pictures, and some other stuff

It occurred to me yesterday that Easter is in less than a week and I haven't yet consumed a single Peep or Cadbury egg.  Don't worry, it'll happen, and the delay is not because I've become some kind of sugarless health nerd, I've just been trying to finish up the Christmas and V-Day candy, Girl Scout cookies, and other sugary snacks hanging out in our kitchen.  More importantly, my old ass still makes my parents get me an Easter basket or 2 every year so I'll be getting the goods in just a few short days and I'm really excited to see what kind of new Peep technology is out there this season.

I will, however, pour one out for the Shamrock Shake I never got around to consuming this Sham Shake season.  I tried 1+ times to acquire one but apparently the 24 hour McD's doesn't do desserts at 2 am.  NONSENSE.  The fact that I get legit sad over things like missing the window for a Sham Shake is exactly why I'll never be skinny.   

Now that it's been a year and 11 days since I had surgery, and because the doctor wants to revise the ab scar, I figured I'd share some updated pics.  You can see in the first pic that the scar is less flat/faded on the right side and the skin on that side juts out a bit more, but in the second pic when the scar is covered it's not really noticeable.  Still, if I'm going to be knocked out and sliced open anyway, I'll defer to the doctor's judgment on that.

Isn't it funny how I would never in 100 trillion years post half-nudes of myself on the internet if not for having surgery (I'd just sext them to randos on Snapchat like everyone else) but doing something like this makes the whole thing seem more scientific and so I just don't care enough to feel self-conscious.  Although if there's anything I should feel self-conscious about, more than my imperfect body parts and my scarring it's my horrible selfie faces when I'm trying badly to act nonchalant.  But that's neither here nor there.

And so while we're at it... here come the really questionable pics.  The "before" thigh pics.  I feel somewhat more defensive about this surgery since a few people have expressed concern or skepticism about me having another procedure.  Even though I've explained to everyone 4700 times that it's really all part of the same issue, excess skin from weight loss, and this is the last piece of the shitty puzzle, if the puzzle was being sawed open and removed and sewn back together.  I don't think that's how puzzles work but you get the gist.  Anyway, I feel fairly confident that I don't have body dysmorphia or any kind of weird self-esteem of body image issues.  I'm pretty objective and know what's what.  For example, I generally find myself reasonably bangin and I've got some nice parts.  However, I think that reasonable objective minds would also agree that my thighs, particularly the upper inner thigh region, have some excess skin/fat that kind of leaves them a bit droopier than everything else.  Sure they might be improved a smidge if I lost another 10-15-20 pounds, but some of that is just skin from being stretched out, etc.  And losing weight is the hardest.  So anyway, here in all their excess-skinned glory, are my current thighs:

I think with the last surgery I at least felt a moment of hesitation and anxiety about posting the before pics, but now that I'm a seasoned veteran and have literally posted pics of my body with blood and gore-filled drain tubes hanging out of my incisions (TMI much?) it's like whatever, my thigh fat is nothing at this point.  As you can see, when my legs are together the upper thighs kind of just collide at the top (what's a thigh gap??) but when they're spread further apart you can really see how much extra skin there is.  Pictures don't totally show it, but that upper inner pocket is just much stretchier and looser than any other part of my legs, so I don't think that would go away without surgery.  Sure, I could live out my days and years with that there and would be fine.. I don't get rashes or anything fortunately.  But, I would like to rock some shorts and not feel self-conscious about that area, and now seems as good a time as any to do it, so then I can be done with this shit FOREVER.

So, there you have it.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Thinking of a post title is the hardest part

Here I was thinking it hadn't been THAT long since I've posted but nope, 2 months.  I swear I've at least started a post in that span, and I'm convinced that I get stumped by the daunting post title line.  Being creative is hard, and just calling it "TUESDAY MARCH 15, 2016" seems dry.  Maybe I'll just start going with rap lyrics that make it seem like I'm going to talk about something more interesting than fiber.

On the fiber note, I have been trying to focus on increasing my protein and fiber intake which sometimes seems easy and other days it's like ... OK am I actually talking about my fiber intake?  How old am I?  Holy hell.  

Ughhh anyway, so I really hoped to post something about a subject other than surgery prior to the inevitable "soooo I'm gonna have a thigh lift" post, but too late.  I guess I only get inspired to blog when I get to talk about something gory like having my groin split open to have thigh fat scraped out.  That's an appetite-killer if ever you needed one.  I was at the surgeon's office for a follow-up on last year's (I can't even believe it's been over a year, what have I been doing??) procedures and scheduled the thigh lift for June 9.  The doctor also said he wanted to redo/revise the ab scar at the same time because he wants to bring it a bit lower and flatten it more since it's currently depressed (as in lowered into the skin, not in need of Cymbalta).  This was not something that had even crossed my mind as I'm perfectly happy with the ab scar and it's not visible in bathing suit bottoms.  However, he thinks it could look better and he'd do it for free ("free").  I was on the fence initially but now thinking I'll let him do his thang.  It will mean slicing open the original incision again and having one drainage tube, but the doc claims it won't really affect my recovery time.  So, that's that in that department.

Weight, life, health, food, exercise-wise, all the same.  Which I tend to think is a good thing.  I had the same lazy thought that I had a couple months out from surgery last time that it wouldn't kill me to lose 5 pounds beforehand but I'm betting against that happening.  My body (or more accurately, my willpower and my beer/carb-loving soul) seems to like this weight, and I'm just not sure I have the motivation to really press forward to lose a few more pounds, even though I'd like to.  Damn, if I'm too lazy to even set a hypothetical goal of achieving something, I'm probably too lazy to achieve said goal.  Whatever man, I feel good.

I will try to update about things other than surgery but I really need to think of some better topics.  Otherwise we might as well wait til I get crazy enough to do another juice cleanse, and nobody wants that.  Lates.