An update in the life and history of my vegetable consumption

I have always been quite clear about my disdain for veggies.  Sorry but they’re gross.  Or that’s been my primary life outlook for many years at least.  The upside is that you can still totally lose weight and do so in a relatively healthy-ish and semi-nutritionally balanced manner even with such loathings.  I decided early on that forcing broccoli down my throat in the name of weight loss was not going to cut it long term, so I was better off just eating what I liked, in moderation, and maybe over time I’d slowly learn to like some other stuff.

The veggies I liked in 2009:

- corn

- potatoes

- carrots

I don’t even count corn or potatoes towards my F & V servings now and really shouldn’t have then.  They have their merits of course, and at the time it was like, OK well it’s a step up from eating a container of butter or something.  Well I guess I never did that, but it is entirely possible that I counted McDonald’s French fries as a F/V serving at least once.  Other things I counted towards the F/V intake- tomato sauce; edamame; cherry pie filling; maybe popcorn.  I don’t remember.  I did eat some fruit at least, though I eat more of it now.  All in all, the veggie struggle was real as fuck.  The blog name “I Don’t Do Salad” was no misnomer, folks, I really did hate that shit, and still do in some regards. 

Anyway, I still don’t care much for lettuce, or raw tomatoes, onions aren’t my favorite, fuck celery and cucumbers.  But you know, I’ve gotten a lot better.  I go through a bag or 2 of baby spinach or arugula every week, I put onions and tomatoes and peppers in most of my entrees (I like them cooked, still don’t care for them raw).  I am all up in the winter squashes… butternut, spaghetti, pumpkin, I eat those on the reg.  I guess they’re technically fruit but whatever.  I don’t mind zucchini and sometimes eat zoodles, and I’ve become quite fond of cauliflower in many different forms.  I don’t adore broccoli but I have found myself eating it raw or cooked with some decent frequency.  With some of these, it’s an ongoing effort to add these foods to my diet and meals, whereas others I actually enjoy.  Either way, I have come a long way in my emotions towards vegetables. 

I’m sure the veggie lovers of the world are like, who cares you dumbass, do you think you deserve a medal for tonguing some spinach?  Well, maybe, is someone giving out medals?  But in an effort to try to think of positive changes I’ve made in my life aside from just the weight loss, I wanted to pat myself on the back for being less of a child and actually eating some greenery.  If only my child-self – who refused to eat anything at Thanksgiving other than mashed potatoes and eventually frozen pizza when my family decided to give up trying, because turkey and sweet potatoes and vegetables were gross – could see me now!  

Summer would be a terrible time for plastic surgery.

As usual, I really hate the month of August.  It's kind of like February, the last(ish) month of one of the more extreme seasons and I'm over it and ready for the next one.   The world doesn't need another basic bitch spewing excitement over her love for the upcoming fall season, but suffice it to say I could spew for days.  Aside from boots and pumpkin spice lattes, I'm just bored of the heat and bored of the summer and bored of summer clothes, and based on this list of complaints, my life is clearly too hard.

I was going to post surgery update pics at the 6 month mark (which really, at this point who cares, but indulge me) but it's been a minute since I've posted anything so figured I'd do like a 5-month and change pictorial update to demonstrate how things basically look the same (OK so I might be up about 6 pounds, sue me) and it's hard to really say if there has been much progress with the scars.  If I was better at lighting and taking pictures I might be able to get a better idea of scar progression but I'm not so I can't.  These are from yesterday, 5 months and 5 days tummy tuck and arm lift, a clear indication that I need more things to do on a Sunday.

 

Good old scar view.   The left side remains much thinner and lighter than the right side which the doctor reopened.

Just me taking selfies like an asshole.  But I'm so tan.

I think my results have pretty much leveled off at this point which is good/normal, and I only rarely experience noticeable swelling around the incision.  Per my doctor's instructions, I have been trying to wear and arm wraps and some kind of compression garment around my stomach (sometimes the velcro thing I lived in for the first month, sometimes just Spanx-type of stuff) more often.  He said it will improve the results and the speed of scar healing.  It's hard when it's 95 and humid and wearing an extra layer of crap, or wearing long sleeves to cover the arm wraps, is massively undesirable, so I'm somewhat spotty with this, but to try to at least where those fuckers to bed.

I really need to get my act together with eating healthily because I'm the heaviest I've been since before surgery, or was as of last Wednesday at least.  I've been having a good week but I need to string like, 2 or 3 or 6 good weeks together.  Most of my habits are good but the things I do badly, like make poor choices when I go out, continue to unravel the good.  In an effort to save money, but also to eat/drink more healthily, I'm trying to really limit going out to eat and ideally not drink more than one night per week.  

Here are this week's dinners:
One Pan Mexican Quinoa with Cashew Sour Cream
Bubble Up Breakfast Casserole
Slow Cooker Buffalo Pulled Pork ... kind of a variation of this but with less butter, and I'll probably have it in soft tacos.
Falafel Burgers with a baked sweet potato

I don't mean this is a subtle-brag kind of way (though I do love to brag), but it's kind of hard for me to change my habits when most of what I do is actually pretty good.  Like every single week, even the bad ones, I meal plan and cook and make healthy dinners and go to the gym.  But then I have those 2 or 3 nights a week that are extra bad that undo the good from the other days.  Of course, the obvious solution to changing my habits is to just like, not have 2-3 bad nights a week or just be less bad, or just shut the fuck up about it because I've been saying the same thing for years now and clearly not doing anything about it.  So, I'm not sure what my solution is, but I'm always trying!!  Maybe I will check in here more frequently instead of just when I want to post periodic surgery updates and pictures, because that certainly can't hurt right?

July Check-In

The other day I was reading Us Weekly's "hot bodies" issue which they seem to push out about once every other month, more frequently in summer of course, where they focus on various celebs in slutty beach attire and include quotes from them with tips on how they look so bangin and skinny.  I can never decide which is worse.. the ones that are like "I get exercise by chasing my kids around and I try to make small changes here and there!" or the ones that acknowledge reality and cop to their vegan, gluten-free, food-free diets followed by 4 hours of deep sea pilates.  Like, the latter is really depressing because we all know (well, I know) that I'm way too lazy, unmotivated and undisciplined to do a fraction of what is required to look that good, but on the other hand when Chrissy Teigen is like, "I love dessert!!" I'm like bitch, you don't even know what dessert is, I'll take your 1/2 cup of frozen grapes and trade you a deep fried waffle sundae and then we'll talk.

Anyway, I'm not complaining.. those people put the work in for those bodies so if they are willing to forego pizza and happiness then they should get the results.  On the other hand... actually I don't remember what the other hand was, I guess all that to say I'm lazy and not very good at not eating so I will never be skinny, the end.

So, I continue to truck along daydreaming about being svelter (really just another 12 pounds would be delightful) while hating the process to get there.  This seems like somewhat of a first world problem.  In an effort to preserve a morsel of perspective, I've been trying to think more about things I've begun to take for granted that I couldn't a few years back when I was at/near my heaviest.  I was sitting in the waiting room at the dentist earlier today and the rows of seats with armrest dividers made me think back to doctor's appointments in 2008 when I'd survey the waiting room chairs and debate where to sit and wonder how tightly wedged my hips and ass would be.  At the time, it had become one of those things (like flying, and sitting in beach chairs) that would always cause a moment of panic and made my life a bit more stressful.  These are the things that you cannot really understand unless you've been substantially overweight.

Sorry, that shit got deep yeah?  I figured I'd add a few thoughts that were a bit less useless and whiny since most of my posts here lately are somewhat useless and whiny.  To provide some more use, I've been really digging some new recipes lately so here are some recommendations:  

Gimme Some Oven White Enchilada Casserole
Walnut Grape & Blue Cheese Quinoa Salad
Emily Bites Chicken and Chorizo Salsa Skillet

Also, I made slow cooker sweet potato chili on Monday and have finally gotten down an ingredient combination for it that I love.  I browned a pound of hot Italian turkey sausage links (out of the casings, broken up while cooking) with 1/2 an onion, diced, and threw that into the slow cooker with a can of Rotel, 2 diced sweet potatoes, an 8 oz can of tomato sauce, a can of drained and rinsed cannellini beans, 2/3 cup water, some cumin, chili powder, a bit of cayenne, and a pinch of brown sugar, and it really hit the spot.  

Alright since I provided some good food, I'll end with a picture of me in a new maxi dress (under $25, Old Navy ballllller) showing off my arms and tan.  I know, I know, sunscreen, etc.  Sorry that I can't not make a stupid face when taking a mirror selfie but a) I was sending it to my sister in need of outfit advice and I wasn't going to stand there posing (oh wait, I am standing there posing) and b) it's my blog so I'll do whatever the fuck I want. 

By way of a very quick surgery update.. everything is good, healing is good, wishing my arm scars would heal faster so I just ordered some silicon scar sheets and will update on how those pan out.  Otherwise all good!

Pointless mid-June check-in

I've pledged to be more mindful of my beer consumption, as I seem to do a few times a year every year.  I hate seeming like an overgrown college burn-out that continually wakes up in a hungover stupor questioning her life decisions- really, my life hasn't devolved to that level just yet.  All the same, I know I would feel better if I would just grow the fuck up and drink like a responsible person which means eating actual meals beforehand and remembering that 9% beer will knock me on my ass and to drink slowly.

So, I'm a couple weeks into that mission and feeling pretty good though there is room for improvement.  The beginning of summer is a strange mix of wanting both more and less social plans.  I like doing things but then constantly feel like I'm spending too much, going out to eat too much, drinking too much, etc.  On the other hand, those things are all fun so maybe I shouldn't complain and should just deal with the occasional hangovers and just existing 10-15 pounds above what I might like to be in a perfect world.  I feel like I have this moral dilemma pretty frequently and it always ends with me taking the lazy and more gluttonous road.

What else?  I've started occasionally working out in the morning which I swore I'd never do.  My major beef with morning workouts is, duh, getting up earlier because who the fuck wants to do that?  However, I realized that my usual morning routine is so stupidly long (usually 90ish minutes) that I have been able to rework it and only have to get up 10 minutes earlier to get to the gym, then just do my makeup while driving (safe) and chalk my hair up as a loss for the day (like it isn't anyway half the time).  I definitely don't feel refreshed or empowered or like I'm overflowing with energy and ready to take on the day like some of these other morning workout freakshows claim, but at least it gets it out of the way early.  I mostly just do it when I've got shit to do in the evenings, like flag football.  Otherwise, I'll probably continue to procrastinate til the evenings.

Had my 12ish week appointment with the surgeon, all was good, in and out.  I'll see him again in mid-July, but there's really nothing new going on there.  I guess that's a no news is good things kinda thing, because it means life is normal and I don't have any restrictions or weird things I have to do anymore.  Last night was the first night back at my usual Monday kickboxing class which is only relevant because that is the class where I first decided I needed to have my arms cut off, or cut down at least.  It was nice being back at the scene of the crime and not have my arms flapping in the wind as I punched.  

It's also crazy/fucked up how much I seek out pool-going opportunities so I can wear bikinis.  It's like I know I only have a limited window before some other part of my body begins to massively deteriorate or I gain 48 pounds, and I need to get all the bikini-wearing in now.  I really want to add a horribly obnoxious YOLO meme but I'll resist the urge.  So that's that, life is good, eating is decent and could be better, working out is back to normal, etc. etc.  

12 Weeks Post-Op, and it's June, and Scar Pics

Yesterday was twelve weeks post-surgery, and I have what will likely be my last post-op check-up with the doctor next Monday.  I really can’t imagine needing to see him for anything at this point since the only surgery-related stuff I’m still doing is putting bio-oil on the incisions to help the scars fade.  The stomach incision doesn’t bother me at all since it’s so low down and not visible in anything, but I’ll probably ask if there is anything else I can do for the arms.  I was at a class at the gym on Monday and got stuck in the very front, and during overhead tricep extensions I was like, OH RIGHT, I have bigass scars snaking up my upper arms that the world can see from this position.  That said though, they don’t bother me and I don’t regret the surgery at ALL because my arms (pythons?) look really good and feel really good, and when my arms are in pretty much any other position, the scars aren’t visible, or are barely so.  But for the curious among you, here’s what they look like:

Pretty funky, yeah?

Working out has been good, normal, haven’t started leaking guts out of any incision or orifice.  I’ve been slow to up my running because I’m lazy and not all that ambitious but I’m almost back to 4 miles, and could probably do it if I actually had any willingness to push myself.  I was nervous about lifting at first but that has been totally 100% fine.  So basically, I’m just pretending I never had surgery, other than the 3-4 minutes I still spend checking myself out in the mirror every morning.  It’s horrifically vain but when you’ve never had a flat stomach in your adult life (or really, adolescent life either) and then a magical doctor is like, “TADA! Here you go!” you revert back to 13 year old-caliber narcissism trapped in a 31 year old’s body. 

I’m still doing MFP and have basically leveled out weight-wise the last few weeks after some extreme ups and downs.  I’m not as low as my lowest but about 7 pounds lower than what I was before surgery so that is OK with me I think.  I’ve been tracking like a beast but could be making better decisions, particularly on the weekends and particularly on the drinking front, so that’s my goal for June.  

Stuff and more stuff, none of which is really groundbreaking

Damnit I’m so bad at remembering to post the minute I stop having exciting updates.   I guess I’ll have to get my thighs done just to keep this bad boy going.

I made my triumphant return to the group fitness scene last night at kickboxing.  It was good to finally do something other than run on the treadmill because that shit gets boring real quick.  I ended up being 2 minutes late which was probably for the best because I had to just jump in and go rather than spend 5 minutes fretting about if I’d be able to do things.  I had been worried about burpees and push-ups and how they’d feel on my arms but they were surprisingly fine.  My push-ups are pretty sad looking from being out of practice (not that they were anything to write home about before) but the motions themselves didn’t cause any issue.  Punching on the bags was the only thing that felt weird, and really only on my left side, so I will probably scale that back a little, but otherwise I think I’m back to normal with exercise.

Let’s be real though, no one really gives a fuck about the intricacies of my evening at the gym, and anyone reading (i.e. the 3 people that inadvertently stumbled onto my blog while googling salad recipes) wants the same thing I want out of a blog.. pictures.  I don't have any good food porn to share so you'll have to just look at me instead.  Nothing has changed recently but naturally I still haven’t gotten tired of staring at myself in the mirror every single morning admiring my surgeon’s handiwork and photographing it so that when I’m 75 I can look back on that glorious year when I had a flat stomach.  I also have some recent arm pics, including a comparison of the old and new arm while doing the signature “arm on hip because it’s skinnier that way” maneuver.  The first side pic (right side) is kind of misleadingly narrow based on the angle that I always seem to take pics from that side, as you can tell by the way the mirror narrows.  But you get the gist.

And just a friendly reminder of my arms and stomach before- 

So, I remain very happy with the decision to get this stuff done.  And just to throw in some stuff that isn't about surgery, I tried an awesome new recipe this week- Chicken & Chorizo Salsa Skillet.  I highly recommend.  I'm also making another Emily Bites favorite tomorrow night, Sausage Tortellini Skillet.  And last night I made tuna and chick pea noodle casserole which is a weird combination but I once saw a vegan version using chick peas instead of tuna and I was like, WHY NOT BOTH???  So that was also delicious.  I just used this classic version and added a can of chick peas.  I still eat and drink irresponsibly on the weekends, but my meal-planning during the week remains reliable at least!

And finally, I have zero idea of my goal weight and don't even really care at this point, so I guess that's good?  While micro-examining my body like a weirdo, I decided the only thing I really don't care for are my thighs, and I've already laid out the surgery possibility for that.  I know I could/should/wouldn't kill me to lose a few more pounds, and I'd like to and am theoretically trying to, but I've been maintaining my post-surgery weight pretty well so far (minus a giant 9 pound swelling nightmare post-Vegas) so I don't know if I should just stop stressing about it and keep tracking and see where shit takes me.  That's the plan for now at least!

Vegas, arm scars and scorching sunburn

Vegas was a real good time, albeit chaotic due to the Mayweather-Pacquaio fight.  It was the first time I went long stretches of time without wearing the arm wraps or a compression garment or binder on my stomach, and I lived to tell about it so that's good.  I am still wearing those things most of the time, esp. when sleeping and at work, and will probably keep doing so until it becomes warm enough that I want to be able to wear short sleeves more often, but figure I'm far enough out that I can go without when fashion dictates.

I was a bit self-conscious - or maybe that's not the word, maybe aware is what I'm looking for? - of the arm scars since I was in strapless or sleeveless dresses all weekend.  You can see the bottom half-inch or so of the scar on each side by the elbow when my arms are by my sides, and I realized you can (obviously) see the whole scar pretty well if I put my hands above my head like to put my hair up, or when I'm dancing like a basic bitch.  I need to remember to take an updated picture later when I have the wraps off.  I generally don't find the scars too bad and they are a necessary evil with this surgery, but I think this weekend was the first time I remembered they're there.  The stomach incision, on the other hand, is totally covered by underwear or bathing suits or whatever else.

And speaking of, I DID IT, I wore not one but two bikinis for the first time really ever.  I had a couple of cropped tankinis when I was 18 or 19 that had more stomach exposure, and as a kid I had some basic kid-caliber 2-pieces, but still not like, full on.. so I feel like I'm going through some delayed development shit wearing my first real bikini at the age of 31.  I also did a shit job of applying sunscreen and missed various bits of my body including my entire chest, so I got a pretty funky burn, but all in all I was just happy to be able to rock my shit at the pool and not really feel self-conscious, at least no more than that usual quick moment of anxiety when you first strip your clothes off and you're not sure if you have a boob hanging out.  Anyway, here's a pic because, of course I took pics because I'm a vapid narcissist:

Like that red splotch under my belly button?  Apparently that area is crazy sensitive to sun.

I guess from here I'll mostly be winding down the surgery posts as there won't be too many updates, other than maybe just an occasional scar pic to show how they're healing.  I'm still doing MFP and even tracked my shit all weekend although it wasn't exactly a pinnacle of nutrition.  I'm hoping to eventually resume some other exercise in addition to running in the next few weeks.  So, life is pretty much back to normal at this point!