Day 12 of the old purification! I’ve taken it upon myself to annoy the shit out of my roommates by frequently dropping the term “purification” and reminding them of what day I’m on. There is nothing anyone cares less about than what you’re eating, why you’re eating it, or what kind of absurd hippy-ass name you give that style of eating, especially when it’s largely unremarkable. I’ve quasi-failed on a few things, like only getting 4 servings of fruits and veggies and 1 serving of dairy yesterday but I’m not a miracle worker. My sister kept yelling at me to shove 2 clementines down my gullet to finish off the F&Vs but I was just too fruited out. Otherwise I’ve been fairly respectable with this whole shebang.
Looking at some of the side-angle pics I have taken of myself has led me to believe I have scoliosis or some such. I’m not even really sure what scoliosis looks like but I feel like my spine curves in a bunch, or maybe I just have really shitty posture. I wonder if I can ask the surgeon to shave my spine down while he’s in there screwing with my stomach. Oh it doesn’t work that way? Whatever.
I was recently thinking about my reasons for wanting surgery and how I’ve always been an inexplicably confident person for the most part and have never had any issues stripping my clothes off and being all “DAMN RIGHT YOU WANT THIS” when I’m naked. Even at 300 pounds it was like, you know what you’re getting, enjoy the show. But in the past year and a half, I started feeling somewhat more self-conscious of my body, particularly my stomach, when undressing. Not in that weird way where people lose weight and feel like they still see a fat person. I don’t have that issue, I’m all “get it gurl, looking good” and have a pretty accurate view of my body. But I came to realize that my naked body didn’t really match the clothed version; I felt like it was a little more untaut than one might expect. So, between that and the fiery anger I have at my arms when I’m doing kickboxing in a tank top, I decided surgery was the way to go.
Ugh I always feel like I should add some pictures when I post, because who doesn't like pictures? I love skipping over all of the words and just looking at pictures. But I never really have anything relevant to include. So here’s a random picture of the Doritos buffet my sister got me for Christmas. Party size is the only way I roll.
And finally, the only thing more obnoxious than saying “purification” is the day-by-day countdown I’m now doing til surgery. FIFTY-SEVEN DAYS. Thank god it’s not a leap year.