Monday, August 31, 2015

Juice cleanse part II - the riveting finale

OK, here's the rest of it went, and then I promise to never talk about juicing or cleansing EVER AGAIN EVER.

Day 2.  I've made it past the first day.  That's a win, yes?  I had planned to go to the gym this morning since I usually work out on Thursday mornings.  The cleanse gurus (I feel crazy just saying words like this) say to work out if you feel up to it but take it easy, and I'm certainly not feeling like I need to burn any extra calories.  But since it was only 1 day in at this point, I figured I'd give it a go.  Ended up feeling totally fine, and for the first time ever in the history of me working out in the a.m. (which is not my cup of tea) I actually felt energized afterward.  I think I was mostly excited I didn't die and wasn't chewing on my towel.

I tried blending juice 1, Morning Glory, with a packet of Truvia and about a tsp of PB2 to improve the flavor but no dice, still tasted like shit.  It was a little easier to chug though since I knew going in that it was going to suck.  I drank 3/4 of it in 4 giant chugs, then decided to have 1/4 cup of scrambled egg whites.  Egg whites are on the approved list and it was just enough to make it feel less likely that I'd pass out during my court hearing this morning.  Success!  Mood is about an 8.5 out of 10, life is surprisingly good for living on liquids.  

Same feelings about Spicy Pome Granate as yesterday.. tasty, a fun little switch-up with the cayenne, not doing much for my hunger.  My coworker just came back with a burger and fries from Five Guys and I can smell it wafting over from her office.  My other coworker also offered me some M&Ms and I started reaching for some forgetting about this cleanse and then I probably looked like I was having a seizure when I violently whipped my hand back when I remembered.  Ahh M&Ms, I see you.  Mood declining.

I started having my first headache of this experience around 11:30.  I've only had one (small) cup of joe today so after Spicy Pome I'm going to have some iced coffee and hope that helps. 

4 pm update.. I had some coffee, had my lunch juice which I drank like 85% of but then was just like, no mas.  Headache went away and came back.  Now I'm drinking my 4th juice, Acai Blend.  I'm losing steam quickly and feeling a bit out of it, not light-headed, just like I'm not really functioning at peak levels.  Definitely hungry and a little nauseated from the hunger.  I think my pee smells weird, in case you were wondering.  Mood score in steady decline since this morning.  Probably down to a 6/10 but at least I'm more than halfway through this charade.

Day 2 ended... somewhat lethargically.  When I got home I put on PJs and laid in bed watching TV for awhile, tired and not feeling fantastic.  At 7 I drank my dinner juice which was good (PB & Jus.. peanut butter, banana, strawberries) and guzzled it quickly.  I was definitely feeling pretty low energy at that point, not really hungry, just kind of blah, and incredibly glad there was only one day left.  I was debating not getting out of bed again and skipping the last juice of the day, but finally made my way downstairs to make sure I was still able to move and socialized with my roommate for a bit.  She was eating delicious looking spaghetti and meatballs and I sucked down 1/2 of my X-treme Greens juice, then decided to have another 1/4 cup of egg whites so I at least got something savory that I could chew, for all of 30 seconds or so.  I felt decent but sleepy, and I went upstairs and crashed.

Felt a bit better this morning on day 3.  It helped knowing it was the LAST DAY.  I also decided to cheat a bit today.  I couldn't do another Morning Glory without contemplating suicide, so I decided to make one of my usual green smoothies and have half for breakfast and half for lunch (in lieu of Sweet Spin, better than MG but still pretty unexciting).  I felt weirdly guilty about straying but the calories are comparable and I'm still getting spinach and banana, just adding some dairy (ff milk and greek yogurt, which also means more protein, which can't be bad right??)  Anyway I think that helped my mood a lot today and I definitely felt a bit more satisfied after breakfast, though my stomach was rumbling when it came time for Spicy Pome at 11.

I put the other half of my smoothie in the freezer when I got into work and now at 2:05 I'm still waiting for it to thaw a bit.  Surprisingly not that hungry though which is nice and unexpected since Spicy Pome isn't overly filling.  After yesterday afternoon/evening's slow downhill slide, I've been feeling good so far today.  

All in all day 3 was pretty decent, especially compared to day 2.  I went home and tried my dinner juice, "Matcha Chia" (almond milk, apple, mango, cinnamon, matcha, chia seeds).  I don't really know what matcha is but I know I will not be pursuing more of it.  Def the worst of the 3 dinner juices.  It was drinkable but at this point in the cleanse I wanted something palatable, so I end up tossing the rest and having egg whites and watermelon for dinner. I had half my Xtreme Greens, some more watermelon, then called it a night.  Or, called it a cleanse.  This shit is finally over!!!

The after-cleanse phase was totally fine.  I thought I would feel weaker on Saturday but I went to the gym and did a short run and body sculpt class and felt totally good to go.  My first meal in the post cleanse era was an underwhelming and overprocessed Lean Cuisine breakfast sandwich but it hit the spot and I was happy to be back to chewing.  I cooked and baked a TON over the weekend.. lots of healthy but delicious food.  It was a good way to ease back into eating again.

So, all-in-all, it wasn't the worst experience of my life.  Days 1 and 3 and about 1/2 of day 2 were fine, albeit boring.  The second half of day 2 was rough.  I guess if I had any qualms it's that it's a lot of money and I only enjoyed about half of the juices.  The Morning Glory juice they give you every morning as your first juice was gross enough to dissuade me from doing it again unless I could sub that one out.  It's not that I think the juices were bad quality, maybe just not my cup of tea.  If I ever even considered doing anything like this again (which really, why? I don't need to purify my body with liquid kale) I would be more inclined to just make my own shit and mix in more egg whites for protein.  Looking at the nutritional content of what I was consuming each day, it's just not a balanced diet whatsoever.  Lots of sugar, almost no protein.. a good amount of fiber at least.  But really, I could find better ways to make my body feel healthier in a more balanced manner.  I was down a few pounds on top of the previous loss on Saturday morning but I don't count on that staying off.  I didn't really do it for weight loss, more just to get my brain to focus on something, which I guess it did for a few days.  But I did it and it's over and I actually felt really good after.  Whether that is mental or a byproduct of the cleanse, who knows, but I wouldn't consider this experiment a terrible thing overall! 


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