Wednesday, March 18, 2015

I did it!

I've typed updates about 47 times in the past few days but then never finish or post them.  I'm bored senseless and have all the downtime I'll ever have in life but can't manage to complete a simple task.  So that's helpful.  Even though I'm pretty sure my lone reader (HI MEG) is getting all of this info from me on g-chat or text on an hourly basis anyway.  I'll try to just break up my posts, thoughts, and other worthless musings by day.

Surgery day... Wednesday 3/11... had a terrible headache and woke up in the middle of the night with something resembling heartburn which was still making my chest/rib area sore the morning of surgery.  And I couldn't have food or water, so I was pretty cranky.  I'd actually go so far as to say that my headache/chest pain prior to surgery was possibly worse than any post-op pain I've experienced.  So, that's awesome in retrospect.  Had surgery, went into recovery, then stayed the first night at a hotel next to the surgery center with an overnight nurse with me, which was clutch.  I know these procedures are usually outpatient but my pussy-ass was not ready to go home yet.  I took percocet every 3 hours that first night but more preventatively and because my back was sore from the weird ass angle I was laying in bed than anything else.

Day 1 post-op/Thursday.  Went home, real dizzy and lightheaded so walking was a challenge.  Very little pain and only took a perc that night to fall asleep.  Bad news was while walking back from the bathroom I quasi-passed out and hit my face on the ground.  Luckily my reflexes are so pathetically slow that I didn't try to put my arms out to brace my fall like a normal person would do, which actually may have fucked up my arms.  Nope, just face-planted and cut my cheek on my glasses when it hurt the carpet.  Beauty and grace, people.

Day 2 was pretty uneventful, and then day 3/Saturday was a BIG FUCKIN DAY.  My first shower!  And I got to take out my catheter and pain pump fanny pack thing I was sporting.  Yes that's right, I was wearing a catheter until that point which was really sexy.  Honestly turned out to be a life-saver though because I was barely able to get up and down that first first day and a half due to being a wuss/light-headed.  Still, by Saturday I was bored of having not only 4 drains/tubes coming out of my person but also having a catheter and pain pump attached to me, so it was nice losing that baggage.  Oh but then like 2 hours later I split open my left arm incision and it was DISGUSTING.  Didn't even feel it but let me tell you, if you saw this shit you'd lose your lunch.  Some kind of body part material was hanging out of my arm incision.  I have pictures but they are not for the weak.  Anyway, I texted the pic to my doctor and he was like, you're a disaster, please come in immediately and I will stitch it up.  So that was a pain but it was cool that he was so accommodating, though he did lecture me about not being a douchebag and moving my arms too much.

Since then... not a whole lot of action but getting better by the day!  I had my first post-op appointment with the surgeon on Monday and he said everything looked good and was glad I hadn't re-opened any incisions again.  He took out my arm drains so my bodily attachments are now down to 2, but did note that the stomach drains (which, TMI, actually go into my upper vag area) are draining a lot of blood so they probably wouldn't be coming out for another week or so.  

So that's that, one week after.  I have my moments of frustration where I'm bored, antsy, or hate not being able to do a lot on my own, but otherwise the surgery and recovery have been WAY better than I expected.  I really thought the pain would be worse (maybe because I didn't have muscle repair it wasn't bad?) or that I'd be homicidally bored by now, but I can't complain. Since Friday, I've only been taking Tylenol for pain and even that I've only taken once recently for a headache.  Who'd have thought?!  I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and wake up with my body exploding in misery or something.  

I've taken some pics and I'm pretty pleased but I'll probably wait another few days or a week to post them because my shape seems to change a lot and is perpetually swelling and bruising and looking gross.  I texted a picture to my sister and she was like, seriously you're disgusting, no more pics until the drains are out and you're not painted with bruises all over your body.  Little bitch.  I'll update soon maybe!

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