Thursday, September 1, 2011

1 step forward, 3.4 steps back

After losing 3.4 pounds last week, bringing me to -99.6 pounds lost (ohsofuckingclose), I gained 3.4 this past week.  I actually didn't even realize it was the exact same gain/loss until I just checked my tracker, but either way I continue to drift just shy of the one zero zero mark.  Not like I have any real rush to get there, I just want to get past that bitch already.

I have realized way too many times throughout this process/journey/whatever you'd like to call it that I sometimes let one bad week, or even day or weekend, make me feel inadequate and unsuccessful and overall cranky.  The logical part of me knows that one week does not undo 130 other weeks (or whatever it's been now) and that I don't look any different and I haven't unraveled all of the good habits I've acquired and instilled over the past 2.5+ years.  And yet there are moments during the week following a gain, or just following a particularly high point day, when it feels that way and I'm back at square one.

The only positive to this is that I usually get frustrated enough with those silly feelings that I'm more determined the following week to prove to myself that I can still do this, and rock the shit out of WW, and it helps me get back on track.  I'm not an emotional eater so fortunately I don't let that self-pity snowball too badly into more destruction.  And I get my ass to the gym no matter what.  But I wish I didn't have those stupidly negative thoughts in the first place because I don't like letting my WLJ become such a front-and-center part of my life, for good or bad.

I think this past week was more frustrating than usual because I didn't have any exciting events or particularly delicious meals to blame my gain on.  I just sort of overate throughout the week and had already plunged into the red by Thursday.  I feel like once I go down that road so early in the week, it's very difficult to recover from it.  But on the bright side, I did hit the gym for 2 classes on Saturday morning and went to kickboxing on Monday, so I can appreciate the fact that I at least stick with my gym routine no matter.

Enough whining.  A better week ahead hopefully, even with the holiday weekend.  AND it's almost fall which is enough in itself to put a smile on my face.

No comments:

Post a Comment