Peeps season, pictures, and some other stuff

It occurred to me yesterday that Easter is in less than a week and I haven't yet consumed a single Peep or Cadbury egg.  Don't worry, it'll happen, and the delay is not because I've become some kind of sugarless health nerd, I've just been trying to finish up the Christmas and V-Day candy, Girl Scout cookies, and other sugary snacks hanging out in our kitchen.  More importantly, my old ass still makes my parents get me an Easter basket or 2 every year so I'll be getting the goods in just a few short days and I'm really excited to see what kind of new Peep technology is out there this season.

I will, however, pour one out for the Shamrock Shake I never got around to consuming this Sham Shake season.  I tried 1+ times to acquire one but apparently the 24 hour McD's doesn't do desserts at 2 am.  NONSENSE.  The fact that I get legit sad over things like missing the window for a Sham Shake is exactly why I'll never be skinny.   

Now that it's been a year and 11 days since I had surgery, and because the doctor wants to revise the ab scar, I figured I'd share some updated pics.  You can see in the first pic that the scar is less flat/faded on the right side and the skin on that side juts out a bit more, but in the second pic when the scar is covered it's not really noticeable.  Still, if I'm going to be knocked out and sliced open anyway, I'll defer to the doctor's judgment on that.

Isn't it funny how I would never in 100 trillion years post half-nudes of myself on the internet if not for having surgery (I'd just sext them to randos on Snapchat like everyone else) but doing something like this makes the whole thing seem more scientific and so I just don't care enough to feel self-conscious.  Although if there's anything I should feel self-conscious about, more than my imperfect body parts and my scarring it's my horrible selfie faces when I'm trying badly to act nonchalant.  But that's neither here nor there.

And so while we're at it... here come the really questionable pics.  The "before" thigh pics.  I feel somewhat more defensive about this surgery since a few people have expressed concern or skepticism about me having another procedure.  Even though I've explained to everyone 4700 times that it's really all part of the same issue, excess skin from weight loss, and this is the last piece of the shitty puzzle, if the puzzle was being sawed open and removed and sewn back together.  I don't think that's how puzzles work but you get the gist.  Anyway, I feel fairly confident that I don't have body dysmorphia or any kind of weird self-esteem of body image issues.  I'm pretty objective and know what's what.  For example, I generally find myself reasonably bangin and I've got some nice parts.  However, I think that reasonable objective minds would also agree that my thighs, particularly the upper inner thigh region, have some excess skin/fat that kind of leaves them a bit droopier than everything else.  Sure they might be improved a smidge if I lost another 10-15-20 pounds, but some of that is just skin from being stretched out, etc.  And losing weight is the hardest.  So anyway, here in all their excess-skinned glory, are my current thighs:

I think with the last surgery I at least felt a moment of hesitation and anxiety about posting the before pics, but now that I'm a seasoned veteran and have literally posted pics of my body with blood and gore-filled drain tubes hanging out of my incisions (TMI much?) it's like whatever, my thigh fat is nothing at this point.  As you can see, when my legs are together the upper thighs kind of just collide at the top (what's a thigh gap??) but when they're spread further apart you can really see how much extra skin there is.  Pictures don't totally show it, but that upper inner pocket is just much stretchier and looser than any other part of my legs, so I don't think that would go away without surgery.  Sure, I could live out my days and years with that there and would be fine.. I don't get rashes or anything fortunately.  But, I would like to rock some shorts and not feel self-conscious about that area, and now seems as good a time as any to do it, so then I can be done with this shit FOREVER.

So, there you have it.

Thinking of a post title is the hardest part

Here I was thinking it hadn't been THAT long since I've posted but nope, 2 months.  I swear I've at least started a post in that span, and I'm convinced that I get stumped by the daunting post title line.  Being creative is hard, and just calling it "TUESDAY MARCH 15, 2016" seems dry.  Maybe I'll just start going with rap lyrics that make it seem like I'm going to talk about something more interesting than fiber.

On the fiber note, I have been trying to focus on increasing my protein and fiber intake which sometimes seems easy and other days it's like ... OK am I actually talking about my fiber intake?  How old am I?  Holy hell.  

Ughhh anyway, so I really hoped to post something about a subject other than surgery prior to the inevitable "soooo I'm gonna have a thigh lift" post, but too late.  I guess I only get inspired to blog when I get to talk about something gory like having my groin split open to have thigh fat scraped out.  That's an appetite-killer if ever you needed one.  I was at the surgeon's office for a follow-up on last year's (I can't even believe it's been over a year, what have I been doing??) procedures and scheduled the thigh lift for June 9.  The doctor also said he wanted to redo/revise the ab scar at the same time because he wants to bring it a bit lower and flatten it more since it's currently depressed (as in lowered into the skin, not in need of Cymbalta).  This was not something that had even crossed my mind as I'm perfectly happy with the ab scar and it's not visible in bathing suit bottoms.  However, he thinks it could look better and he'd do it for free ("free").  I was on the fence initially but now thinking I'll let him do his thang.  It will mean slicing open the original incision again and having one drainage tube, but the doc claims it won't really affect my recovery time.  So, that's that in that department.

Weight, life, health, food, exercise-wise, all the same.  Which I tend to think is a good thing.  I had the same lazy thought that I had a couple months out from surgery last time that it wouldn't kill me to lose 5 pounds beforehand but I'm betting against that happening.  My body (or more accurately, my willpower and my beer/carb-loving soul) seems to like this weight, and I'm just not sure I have the motivation to really press forward to lose a few more pounds, even though I'd like to.  Damn, if I'm too lazy to even set a hypothetical goal of achieving something, I'm probably too lazy to achieve said goal.  Whatever man, I feel good.

I will try to update about things other than surgery but I really need to think of some better topics.  Otherwise we might as well wait til I get crazy enough to do another juice cleanse, and nobody wants that.  Lates.

2016

12 days into 2016 and I’m not feeling it.  I’d imagine this is more indicative of the annual post-holiday comedown combined with it being cold and busy at work more than an indication of how 2016 will go, but just the same, 2016 needs to get its shit together.  I type this at 3something p.m. on a Tuesday (my least favorite day of the week) where I’m on 5 hours of sleep and nursing a Fireball hangover and a Clemson loss so I suppose my opinion on anything might be somewhat skewed at the moment.  I’m really failing at my recent goal of trying to be more positive, aren’t I?

Other than last night as the obvious outlier, it’s been a pretty healthy 2016 so far.  I’m not being as regimented as I was last January when I gave myself a bullet pointed list of guidelines to follow for 21 days but the lack of major social challenges since New Year’s made it easier to hammer out some healthier meal plans and regular workout routines.  So that’s a positive.  See, I’m totally positive! 

I’m not usually into workout challenges because I’m not particularly motivated to increase my activity or really change my routine at all (32 years old and I’m already lazily set in my ways) but since I’m a huge nerd and love Game of Thrones, I’m doing a GoT challenge through the My Fitness Pal forums.  Basically anything where I get to sign up to be in a house (YAY HOUSE LANNISTER!) and make GoT references (<3 Tyrion) is enough to reel me in.  And I mean I can’t wait 3 more months for Season 6 to start so this is the logical fix, yeah?  I’ve also found that in the 2.5 days since it started, the challenge has been a somewhat positive influence on my life, and as we know I could always use positive influences.  Like today I’m hungover and want to go home and pass out on the couch, but I’m going to go to the gym because I know I’m physically capable of doing so and need to get some challenge minutes.  ALSO… the focus is on a balance of cardio, strength and flexibility, and lord knows I need to work on my flexibility.  That sounds dirty (albeit appropriate), but also I just don’t stretch enough and I’m increasingly achy when I work out.  The flexibility goal is 65 minutes a week and I think it will be good for me to try to spend more time stretching and doing some light yoga, and also work on a better balance of cardio and strength rather than just focusing so much on cardio.

So that’s my 2016 in review so far.  I’m going to San Francisco 3 weeks from tomorrow so that will get this  year moving a bit.  Until then, I’ll be diligently logging my workouts to avoid getting sent to the Night’s Watch, or whatever other adorably kitschy punishments are in store.

2015

Since 95% of the population is vocally reflecting on how their year went, while also waxing poetic about all of their optimistic and unoriginal resolutions for 2016, I also find myself thinking back on the year and whether it was sufficiently awesome.  I think it was?  I didn't really accomplish much in terms of adult things like buying a house or procreating or getting a promotion, but I did fulfill my 2015 goal to watch every episode and season of Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad and Sons of Anarchy (OK I lied, I got sidetracked after season 5 of SoA but I'll get there eventually...)  And if following through with my big plans to get skin removal surgery counts, I did that too and have been ecstatic with the results.  So yeah, it's been a decent year in my book, but keep in mind that my book is more like an issue of Us Weekly in terms of size and substance.

I'm not going to set goals for 2016 because the only thing I hate more than goals is people that fucking tell people their goals.  Just do your shit, don't tell me about it, if you know me at all you know that I only care about myself anyway and am only giving the requisite nods and "mmhmm awesome!".  But anyway, instead I'm thinking ahead to things I'm planning (or hoping) to do this year.. more as something to look forward to now that the holidays are winding down.  I'll assign a number from 1 to 10 next to each in terms of the likelihood of it actually happening (10 being the highest).

- trip to San Francisco in February (9.. flight is booked)
- some kind of international trip, ideally not North America (3.5)
- roadtrip to Mississippi with friends (6.5)
- mini thigh lift surgery (7)
- volunteer at DNC in Philly (8.5)
- trip to Oklahoma City and Dallas to visit fam and friends (5)
- trips to DC and NYC to visit friends (9.5)
- date someone over the age of 27 (4)
- finish watching Sons of Anarchy (6)

Well that's a decent start.  I don't want to get ahead of myself here so if I can do like 3 of those things that'd be solid.  

Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and a safe and healthy or whatever New Year!  Just kidding, safe is boring, have a dangerous and exciting New Year!

Time flies when you're doing the same stuff as always

Damnit, I was so good with keeping up with this for awhile!  It has been at least a half dozen posts since I've had to start off a post with some generic throwaway comment about how bad I am at updating.  I have taken pics on several occasions, and then never get around to posting them.

This week will be 9 MONTHS since I had surgery!  Holy crap that seems long, but then it also feels like surgery was forever ago so I guess it's about the right amount of time.  Despite how dicey the first few weeks after were, life returned to normal very quickly and I've just been up to my usual tricks ever since then.  I don't really know what my usual tricks are but it sounds more interesting, doesn't it?

Things I have not done since I last posted:  juice cleanses, any cleanses, run any marathons or half marathons or even pretended I would try, lost any new weight, gotten any more elective surgical procedures, volunteered my time for a good cause, really anything to better humanity.. so I guess same old, same old.  I have been cooking a lot!  And life has been fun and positive and mostly healthy, so all in all it's been a nice little fall.

Here are a couple of recent pics including one that shows the scar, so as you can see it's about the same as before I guess?  It doesn't really bother me, but I wish the arm ones would heal faster.  I am going to ask my doctor for any other suggestions for that when I see him next week.  I'm the same weight and size as before but feel like I look a little puffier in the current pics.  Maybe it's just the angle?  Or maybe I'm just a puffy ass person?







So things are good in the surgical department.  As any loyal hair followers can see, I dyed my hair brown in October which then faded into the above light brown color and now has some highlights as I transition back to blonde.  My god my life is taking some wild rides.

I wouldn't be opposed to setting some new goals (in life? in health?) but can't really think of any that aren't stupid (i.e. cleanse) or boring (try a new vegetable!).  Since I typically like to do some kind of new outlook which is probably similar to a resolution while I simultaneously don't call it a resolution and bitch about how much I hate people that do New Years resolutions, be on the lookout for something to that effect shortly.  By saying shortly, I have irrevocably tied myself to posting again in the next 30 days.

If I don't make it before Christmas, happy holidays to everyone!

6-month follow-up with surgeon, other things, maybe

I was reading back through some older posts including one from June when I posited that my 12ish week check-up would probably be my last.  Nope, 6+ months out still hauling down to Chadds Ford every couple months!  Despite my whininess about the early morning drive, I appreciate that the surgeon still wants to check my ass out and make sure everything looks aight.  The amount I paid before surgery is the total amount for everything including all post-op visits so it's not like he's getting paid any more for additional appointments.  I also heard that many plastic surgeons are notorious for lackluster or non-existent post-op care, so I've been pleasantly surprised at how much that has not been the case with Dr. Saunders. (I forget if I ever posted it but in the event anyone in the Philly area, or anyone period, is reading this, my doctor is/was Dr. Chris Saunders in Chadds Ford, PA and Wilmington, DE, and he has been fantastic.)

The doctor said everything looks fine and he still recommends using some kind of pressure (i.e. Spanx, compression garments) to improve results.  I started sleeping in my binder again pretty much every night a month or so ago, and if I'm not getting any it doesn't bother me at all to have it on at night, so I'll probably keep doing that.  Crap, just remembered I forgot to ask him if it's normal/fatal that I've been experiencing some weird pressure-ish tingly sensations in my arms near the elbow when I do body weight exercises like planks and push-ups.  I'll bring that up at the November appointment if my elbows don't fall off before then.

ALSO.. while there I asked him about whether I should separately schedule a consultation to discuss the possibility, prices, etc. for a thigh lift and, delightfully, he went through it with me while I was there yesterday.  More delightfully... he said that since the extra skin on my thighs is pretty much all at the very top, he would recommend just doing a mini lift/tuck with an incision at the top (as opposed to one running down my inner thighs) and some lipo on the lower parts.  That seems a lot less invasive, and he said the recovery is much easier than with the tummy tuck, and I could probably just do a week off of work.  A week!  Even if I planned for a week and a half, that'd be much more doable, especially compared to the 15 work days I ended up taking off last time.  Also, the price was a lot better than expected.  Like, I had a mental range of what I thought it might be and what I would reasonably consider paying, and what my absolute worst case but still maybe price would be.  Anyway, it was over $1,000 less than the bottom of the range I was hoping for.  So, after going back and forth about this for some time now, I would have to say I'm strongly leaning towards doing this, probably next April sometime.  And then I'm DONE.  I SWEAR.  The only other thing I was ever interested in having done with skin removal was the thighs, but couldn't do that with arms and stomach.  So I don't think this is something where I'll come back next year and be like, so maaaybe I'll get a Brazilian Butt Lift.  I mean not that I wouldn't like a nice big perky ass, but I'm done with slicing and dicing my body after this last bit of extra skin is removed.  And that's that!  

My sister and I have been really into hiking lately and trying to find places to hike in PA and NJ, where life is a bit flatter than in other parts of the country.  We went hiking in Valley Forge on Saturday and it was beautiful and amazing and between that and 2 softball games that morning, I'm pretty sure I still can't feel my legs and arms.  What else?  I made the most Allison possible recipe last night which is to say it combined several of my favorite things in the world into one delicious, fall-ish, comforty dish:  Pumpkin Alfredo Tortellini Skillet.  So damn good.  I'm very obviously a pumpkin whore, and tortellini is my jam, so when I saw that recipe I knew it had to come to life.  Tomorrow night I'm making orange chicken (I have a few recipes for this, not sure which I'll use but all basically variations of the same thing.. you just don't bread/fry the chicken so it's still really tasty but light) with Cauliflower Fried "Rice".  Then I'm staying in the Jerz with the fam from Friday til Monday or whenever the Pope leaves town and I can actually make it back to Philly again.

I guess that's about it for this fascinating week of my life.  If we're lucky I'll be able to launch into some new surgery talk in a few months and keep this bitch going a bit longer!

Is a pumpkin cleanse a thing?

UGH I have let way too much time go by with 2 juice cleanse posts hanging out there as my last written word.  Don't worry, no more of that nonsense.  Unfortunately I do not have a whole lot else to wax poetic about because nothing really inspires me the way pureed kale does, apparently.

It's mid-September so despite it still being hot and stupidly summerish outside, I've hit the pumpkin shit up full force.  As with every year, my first pumpkin spice latte of the year (PSL, if you will.. I swear to god I don't say that unless I'm trying to be ironic) reminded me that I don't really like "PSLs" but I still predictably adore every other pumpkin infused item that comes my way.  It's become such a cliche to love that stuff, but I really actually do because it's delicious.  And I really actually love boots and leggings and tights and scarves and oversized sweaters and leaves and all the other basic ass fall stuff that I could fill up an Instagram account with.

I've been eating moderately healthy as usual, which is generally to say I eat pretty healthily 5ish days a week and questionably the other 2, which are sometimes but not always the weekend.  So weight-wise I continue to maintain roughly the same weight for... 3 years now?  With a fun dip earlier this year after surgery.  Those few weeks when I couldn't eat were so svelte.  Since it has officially been over 6 months now, here are some pics that really show no change from the last few months, but no news is good news, which doesn't entirely apply to this situation but you get the gist.  

At this point it probably doesn't make much sense to continually post half-nudes when surgery was so long ago but in case anyone was wondering if there have been any changes or my skin exploded into a fiery mess or anything else weird, the answer is not really.  I will try to take some more scar pics soon but I feel like there haven't been many changes on that front either.  I wish they would fade a bit faster but I also wish my student loans would pay themselves so wishing is a pretty pointless endeavor.

Anyway that's that for now.  I'm still cooking a lot, working out, showing up for work on a regular basis, etc. so not much new to report.  If I ever magically manage to shed another 15 pounds I'll document exactly how I did it in 40 lengthy and self-absorbed posts but otherwise it'll probably just be these sporadic ramblings for the foreseeable future.