Ahh yes, this blog still exists!

Wow, it has been almost 2 years since I've posted anything here.  I knew it had been a hot minute but damn, bitches.  It's strange to think about how many things happen in your life in 2 years (well, technically it's about 1 year 10 months but I'm a rounder).  Actually, that sounds really dramatic like I'm about to tell you I got married, converted to Scientology, had 14 kids and became a life coach.  From a weight loss perspective, the timing of my last post is interesting because it's basically when I started to (inadvertently) maintain my weight for the last 22 months.  Maybe I stopped posting because I ran out of fun weight loss updates and perpetual before/after pics?  That "plateau" - and I use that term loosely, because it hasn't been my body's refusal to take off more weight, but rather my own refusal to live a lifestyle that involves less beer and brunching - started off as a frustrating semi-failure but I've come to appreciate my ability to maintain my 115 lb weight loss for nearly 2 years, even if that wasn't the ultimate goal.

I'm still trying to lose another 15-20 which is sort of this amorphous range I use but I can't exactly visualize.  The number is flexible.  But I've gotten to a point where I like myself even more than my massive ego liked myself before and have realized that 15-20 more pounds on a 5'11.5 giant person like myself isn't going to drastically change things anyway.  So, if it happens it happens.  If I keep living life like a lush, so be it.  There is something to be said about being able to live an occasionally gluttonous life and maintain a certain weight.  It may not be my ideal weight, but perhaps my happy one?

ANYWAY.  I thought about this blog because I was slutting around the internet looking at weight loss blogs relating to skin tightening surgeries and it reminded me about how "Woahhh remember that time I did a blog?"  And wanted to see how this old bag of bones was doing.  Pretty neglected, as it turns out.  This is why I will never have kids.  But yes, figured a check-in was appropriate and also a perfect venue to spew about my recent epiphany that it's been 12ish years since my nose job and I'm hangry for some plastic surgery.  I really only came up with this moment of brilliance in the last week or so after occasionally tossing the idea around casually in those moments when I was lacking other absurdly frivolous things to dream about.  Then during kickboxing on Monday I was reminded that I hate wearing tanktops to kickboxing because my upper arm region is all doing its own thing during punches due to the loose skin/tissue/fat/stuff/whatever it is.  So yesterday I was like, I should totes dump a stupid amount of money into getting some kind of surgical procedure to make myself marginally hotter.

That's still at the tentative earliest stages and if I go that route it wouldn't be til April or May when I can throw a lot of vacation days at this science project.  I'll keep you updated.. j/k, I probably won't because I probably won't remember to post again for another 3938 years, but let's play pretend.  Other than that, mostly more of the same.  I started going to WW meetings again in May and have been really enjoying them though I'm not sure they've really impacted my weight loss that much.  Still tracking, still doing some combo of running, kickboxing, boot-camping, etc.  Started doing outdoor yoga a few days a week for my mental health.  I'm still inflexible as hell.  All is good.

I haven't posted progress/before-after-during-whatever pics in forever because I really haven't made any progress in the traditional sense of the word, or any sense of the word.  But whatever, I like pictures and I love myself so why not?  The right picture is a recent mirror selfie I have on my phone because my friend was like "OMG what are you wearing tonight, I don't know what to wear?!"  So I was like "I KNOW RIGHT?  Here's what I'm wearing."  I swear I ditched the cardi before I went out.  Maybe.  Anyway, I found a pic of me in the same dress shortly after I got it, about 60 pounds heavier so that makes for a fun comparison.  

And just for good measure, here's what I looked like 115 pounds heavier.

I know this slice of ass has a good time at any size, but all the same I look better with less meat on the old bones.  Looking at these pics and my arms and stomach size being what they were, it's probably not shocking that my skin is begging me for some plastic surg, so we'll see.

BYE FOR NOW! 

What happens in Vegas, I couldn't remember if I wanted to

Posting twice in a month, look at me go.  You’re probably asking yourself, “where DOES she find the time to spew out two underwhelming and inane blog posts in a mere 31 day window??”  I know, I thought it too. 

I technically hit the next 5 pound marker (-115.6) last week after inexplicably losing 3.4 pounds while binge drinking for 3 days in Vegas.  This takes me back to the last time I thought I was dying of organ failure in July 2011 where I experienced similar confusion with a giant loss after drinking myself into a near-coma.  I still don’t really get it, but it stayed off the last time so we’ll see what happens this time around.  WI is tomorrow so I’ll report back in ~7 weeks on what the scale says in the follow up week.

Oh right so, Vegas.  It. Was. AWESOME.  It was my first trip and it couldn’t have been better in any way.  I mean I guess it could have been better if Ryan Gosling was there pouring champagne, cocaine, and 100 dollar bills in my mouth, but short of that it was pretty friggen perfect.  What makes it even more awesome is that I went with 4 other girls I met through Weight Watchers, specifically through the online message boards.  Sounds creepy right?  It was, they’re total weirdos, in the best possible way.  I love them and had an amazing time with them and I love that we all converged from our respective corners of the earth for an insane weekend in Vegas. 

 

 

 

And now Halloween is coming up.  I’ve been trying to stay on the straight and narrow for the week and a half in between Vegas and Halloweening and doing alright with it.  I had a few situations necessitating a bit of drinking but all-in-all I wasn’t too bad and didn’t throw up or lose consciousness so I feel like that is a good sign.  I will have to do another Halloween side-by-side-by-side-by-side and however many sides it takes to equal the bajillion number of years/Halloweens I’ve been losing weight for now.  Looks like I’m down about 17 more pounds from last Halloween.  Slow and steady and all that crap.  Here’s a sneak preview of my really original firefighter costume. 

 

For the record, this is my roommate’s room/mirror. I do NOT have butterflies on my wall, like that needed to be said.

Well hey there

Ughhh it’s been like 1903493 days since I last posted.  I’m the worst.  I really should have at least updated after my 5 weeks without the scale to be all like, I DID IT!!  I’m a rock star!  But I got lazy and forgot.  I’m just going to copy and paste “I got lazy and forgot” and set this blog to auto-post that once a week because that basically sums shit up. 

SO let’s check the old weight tracker… My first WI after my scale-fast was -3.2, which netted out to -1.4 when you factor in my (legit) 1.8 pound gain from the previous week.  Since then I’ve been -1.2, +1.0, and then -1.4 this morning.  Anyway, that puts me at -112.2 as of today.  VERY pleased with that.  I still don’t know, or really care, what goal is.  I want to lose 12 more pounds and then maybe start taking it a few pounds at a time and see how I feel.

I feel good about my eating and exercise in general and have for awhile now.  I guess after 44 months of Weight Watching it should feel like second nature by now, and it does for the most part.  I’ve said this before but I’ve realized that my bad weeks are almost entirely situational.  Meaning that when I have something going on, a lot of dining out, traveling, or celebrations, I don’t do very well.  Not terribly, but I usually go over my points and I end up gaining.  This happens on more occasions than I can really justify, and yet I’m pretty cool with it.  Because the rest of the weeks, when I don’t have as much going on and I eat at home and don’t binge drink 5 nights a week, I do pretty well.  And all of those weeks combine into what ends up netting a slow creep downward on the scale.  For the most part, I don’t really struggle with binge-eating, or drive-thru-ing, or portion control or over-splurging at home.  On the other hand, when I go out to eat I sometimes still pretend it’s the last time I’ll ever eat again and I need to lick that shit clean.  But that balance is one I can live with. 

Annnnyway.  I’m sure I had a lot of deep thoughts to share about the inner reflection I did following my 5 weeks without the scale, but now that’s old news and I don’t really care much.  I definitely enjoyed the scale break and I don’t think it caused me to do any better or worse with my eating, so primarily it was a lovely mental break from the constant up and down which I’m sure my weight did for those 5 weeks.  Seeing one compact number at the end was nice.  Since then I’ve been weighing once a week only so I’ll be happy to stick to that for awhile, but might try another month at some point.

I was going to post a picture but couldn’t think of anything good or relevant so I’ll just do without.  Maybe next time?

Putting the Scale Away... Further Away

I had been toying with the idea of doing a full month sans scale for a little while, but naturally it was one of those things that I liked to talk about without ever actually doing anything about it.  Story of my life, people.  I finally posted about it on the WW message boards last week and was happy to see several others up for the challenge.  And therefore, here I am in the midst of a scale-free month.

I made this decision last Thursday and my last scale-check was last Wednesday for WI.  I initially felt cheated to have made this decision on a whim without sneaking in one last peek before beginning the scale-fast, a “last supper” of weighing if you will.  Then I realized that the very fact that I was scheming in this way and was hesitant about dipping into the no-scale thing cold turkey was all the proof I needed that a month without the scale would do my crazy ass some good.

This is a picture of the scale I use.  It's not my actual scale, nor do I weigh 0.0 pounds, tragically,  This picture really does not add anything to this post other than to be like, yeah, this is a scale.  And to give myself something to lust over.  Scale porn.

I don’t have any major reason in particular for this, but I think it will be beneficial mentally AND I think I just want to prove to myself that I can do it.  The thing with WI-frequency is that it’s kind of like borderline-alcoholism.  You keep saying you don’t NEED it and you’re not obsessed or addicted to it, and yet you still keep doing it, all the time.  I don’t think I’m particularly scale-obsessed, compared to many others at least, and I’m not a daily weigher.  But I need to do it to remind myself that I CAN.  And I am also perpetually jealous of the seemingly “naturally” healthy people that maintain healthy habits and a healthy weight without having to micromanage their diet, workout routine and check the scale on the reg.  I know it’s not that easy but I want to work my way in that direction.

I’m pretty much positive that my willpower-lacking ass could not survive once-monthly weighing every month.  But if it goes OK and I find that I don’t need the scale to keep me motivated and working hard, maybe it is something I can do a few times a year.  Or maybe I’ll find myself totally unraveling and binging on cans of chocolate frosting by the end of the week, who knows.  I do know that it has been years and years since I’ve gone a full month without checking the scale, so if for no other reason than wanting to do it again for the first time in forever, it seems like something to strive for.  I’d love to be down a little bit when I weigh myself again on September 12 (a full 5 weeks) but I think I’ll feel pretty awesome just to do it at all, no matter the result.

Unless, of course, I end up gaining 15 pounds, in which case I’ll whine like a little bitch and weigh myself 14 times a day for the rest of eternity.

Random Shit

I really wish that some doctor would magically come up with some Atkins-like revolution in which it turns out that eating crazy combinations of carbs in massive quantities actually can accelerate weight loss.  Atkins was a nice, albeit insane and generally unsustainable, diet option for those meat-fiends out there and while I love me some steak and cheeseburgers, bread and its spawn have always been my one true love.

Anyway, I realize that I might as well also wish for world peace and a lifetime supply of grilled cheeses to be delivered to my door tomorrow since these events are about as likely.  But a gal can dream, can’t she?  I just don’t see the value of being content with learning how to eat like a normal healthy person when I could hope for miracles. 

I started typing this post circa one week ago and then never finished and here I am finally getting around to it again.  I don’t really have anything new to add.  I lost 0.8 last week which was shockingly awesome after the wedding weekend, and then gained 1.8 this past week after my birthday shenanarama which I was cool with because it seems like a friendly birthday gain.  I’ve been good with working out so far this week which is to say I’ve actually gone the last two days even if there was very little good about it.  The gym is still a giant asshole in my book but we maintain a mutual tolerance for one another.

Not much else cookin in my world.  It seems like I’ve got shit going on every weekend in August which is annoying and counterproductive to my perpetual desire to spend all weekend laying on the couch watching TV, but I’ll get through it I suppose.  I’m not banking on losing anymore before September but if I can drop another 0.8 below my lowest and hit -110 that’d be snazzy.  Still, I’ve scraped off about 6 pounds this summer and that is a fine enough seasonal total for me. 

This blog needs more pictures.

Several more weeks and still at the same weight.  It could be worse- I could be gaining or flying off track or otherwise, but after finally making some forward progress in May and June I’m stuck in place again.  I’ve actually only been in the red once in the past 5 weeks but have only lost a half pound in that time.  However, I haven’t been fantastic either and this past week I used all of my WPs and dipped into a few APs, which usually yields mixed results.  Nevertheless, after maintaining this week I still glared at the scale hoping for magic to happen. 

The one nice thing about plateauing a bit after losing several pounds is that you get to enjoy the delayed loss of inches and clothes fitting better which I find usually doesn’t show up until a few weeks after the scale goes down (and if I’m continually losing, I don’t notice).  I’m squarely in between-sizes territory now in that the smaller size is still a bit on the tight side but the larger size is noticeably too baggy.  It’s an annoyingly awful limbo area where I don’t feel fabulous in anything exactly, but it’s nice to know that I can fit into the smaller stuff without it looking obscene either.  If only I could just push myself 3 more pounds or so I’d be in a very happy place. 

I have been upping my running just a tad lately.  I’m far too lazy and lack the attention span to really do anything major or ambitious, but I’ve done a couple 4ish mile runs in the past two weeks and kept it at a 10 minute pace, so it hasn’t been too painfully eternal-seeming.  I’ve also been keeping my shorter runs at 30 minutes or longer and trying to up my speed with those, so I think I can commit to my pledge to never spend an exorbitant amount of time running but get a decent workout, in which case I might actually stick with it a little longer.  

I’m going to Bar Harbor for a wedding this weekend so I will be out of town Thursday night to Monday morning and I know I will not be a model of Weight Watchers during that time, which is part of why I’m frustrated not to have lost this past week.  Nevertheless, I’ll try to work out and make decently non-shitty eating decisions and hopefully avoid getting black-out drunk, and I can keep the damage manageable.  It will be awesome to see my law school friends all in one spot and I think the wedding will be a great time, so at the end of the day I’ll have a great time regardless of WW or points.

This and That

Well what do you know, I almost let another week slip by without updating.  I like doing it, too, and I’ve started to about 47 times this week.  But yeah.  Lazy.  Etc. 

I lost 0.4 at WI which is unspectacular but since I’ve been going down pretty steadily, albeit slowly, over the past 6ish weeks, I’ve been surprisingly happy just to see new numbers of any kind.  I went out for Mexican last Friday and had obscene quantities of truffle oil guac and nachos and 4ish Dos Equis Ambers and my new favorite, a michelada which is a Bloody-Mary-type situation that has Dos Equis Amber in it and was quite delicious.  And I had Oreo pancakes for brunch on Sunday.  At this point I’m really just laying out the foundation for an actual food-porn, complete with me bathing myself in a tub of cheese whiz, so I’ll put it to rest.  But yum.  And I had 2 WPs left and did a full slate of workouts.  So 0.4 was good enough for me.

What else?  It’s Friday afternoon and clearly I’m work-minded at the moment.  I’m going to the Phillies game in a bit where I will be having crab fries for dinner, a well-balanced meal if ever there was one.  I’m doing a Color Run on Sunday which starts early as shit but I’m trying to cut down on the quantity of bitching I do because it seems to be a lot lately.  I don’t think it’s going to be a fantastic weekend in the WW sphere of life, but as usual if I can keep things relatively under control and I eat somewhere short of 99 million calories, it’s all good.